Click here to view the embedded video.

What can I say?

• Yo dawg, we heard you like dromidaries, so we put some camels in your car so you can hump while you drive?
• Armrha: The convenience store clerk misunderstood.  Instead of 2 packs of camels, he got him 2 pack camels : ( 

"Give me the $@# money or I gut you like a Targ!"

WANTED FOR CRIMES
AGAINST THE UNITED FEDERATION OF CONVENIENCE STORES

Someone in Colorado Springs, Colorado robbed two 7-11 stores with a sharp object being portrayed in the media as a Klingon Bat’leth.  The Denver Channel had the first writeup of it that I’ve seen, and has some of the most hilarious blog comments.  As one reader in the blog pointed out it i’s not a Bat’leth but appears to be some sort of cheap knockoff.  

So I thought, what does a Bat’leth run these days.  I mean, if you were planning on robbing some 7-11′s, you would probably not want to do it with a lousy knockoff Bat’leth and be the laughing stock of the internet.

Well, I didn’t really find out the answer to that question, but I did find some cheap knockoffs.

The Sword of Kahless

 Here on the left is the Sword of Kahless (picture borrowed shamelessly from Memory-Alpha, who borrowed it shamelessly from Paramount) from the DS9 episode of the same name.  It’s made from the lava-doused hair of Kahless the Unforgettable, who slew the gods and forged the Klingon Empire.

Not Actually the Sword of Kahless

And, here on the right is a ‘Sword of Kahless’ that you can purchase on ebay for $59.95!  Unlike the marauder above, this fake Bat’leth is probably close the the actual size. “Huge 43″”.  A real Bat’leth is 116 centimeters, according to Memory-Alpha, and the one in the image above is clearly not a <4ft sword requiring two hands.  Also, the ebay item description states:

This is the version II of the Bat’leth, Sword of Kahless from the very famous Sci-Fi movie Star Trek. This sword has a lot of grave and elegance put into it. This Sword of Kahless has a very scimitar curve with four handholds which is wrapped in genuine leather to give you a strong hold. On two of the blade is a Celtic engravings. This sword is built to last for a long time with its full 440 stainless steel construction. The Bat’leth Series II has four blades which can even be sharpen more. Overall Length: 43”

If your Klingon weapon says that it has Celtic enscriptions on it, it’s probably a good sign that it’s not a very accurate replica.

$25 Sword of Honor

This next Star Trek Klingon Bat’leth & Plaque Overall Length: 24″ listing on ebay, not only fails to fall short of the 116 centimeter requirement, it also doesn’t even match the picture with the description. 

The bat’leth, or “sword of honor”, is a traditional Klingon blade weapon. Resembling a crescent-shaped, two-ended scimitar, the bat’leth is wielded using three handholds along the outside edge of the blade. It is widely considered the most popular weapon among Klingon warriors. 

So… wait… where’s the other two handholds?

Oh wait, you were just copy-pasting the entry from Memory-Alpha into your item writeup.  

Seriously guys, the one handhold is a dead giveaway.

Are they trying??

Something looks funny here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a slightly related thread, my problem with the fradulent Star Trek Voyager DVD set is all resolved.  I have gotten my money back from the original seller and purchased it directly from Amazon instead at the usual exhorbant retail price.  I’m still slowly binging my way through the first season.

Whoah whoah whoah, update!  

Armrha has pointed out that the “$25 Sword of Honor” picture looks a lot like the weapon of choice!  I put together this composite image, and it looks like a pretty good match.

I gotta make my $25 back...

Via an old (August08) Wired.com article about the Rock-afire Animatronic Band comes the most disturbing thing I’ve seen on YouTube all evening. 

Click here to view the embedded video.

It was only a matter of time before someone sucessfully paired the animatronic pizza bands of the 80s with contemporary R&B songs about… date rape?  

Personally I think the sun and moon do a great job on the backup vocals, ‘Aye!’.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.