Live Action Role Playing in THE WORLD OF REALITY
A compiled volume of information primarily used by FREEBASE players including: combat, monster lists; treasure; equipment; magic; world description; helpful playing tips; and more.
Concept by Daniel Thron and Todd Shaughnessy.
Written by Daniel Thron.
Most of you reading these rules are familiar with role playing; your older brother was “into” it in high school, some of your friends said they “did” it in their basement when their parents were away on vacation in Chippawa Falls, your Uncle Jerry got “sentenced to twenty with no parole” for it a couple of years back, or perhaps you’ve been tempted by the magazines and odd paraphernalia on the dust-blanketed shelves of a comic book store. You’ve even seen “gamers” in school, standing in strange cabalistic knots in the corner of the lunchroom, chirping giddily about the mysteries of “petrification saves.” Watching them, you were frightened, disgusted, yet secretly longing to understand, if only to find out what “Thieves Cant” was.
Well, no longer need you live in fear of becoming a universally loathed, shambling social pariah. Now you may at last feel free to join them, because not only has gaming recently achieved astonishing new heights of popularity, there is one game almost everybody plays: FREEBASE.
Who do we mean by “everybody”? We mean everybody. Your friends. Your family. The postman. Look in the next room. See your mom there? She’s playing. Do you think she’d let you live here for three years past when you quit college if she wasn’t waiting for you to figure it out? Think about it. We’ve all been waiting for you. Join us. We can’t play without you.
HOW TO BEGIN
We will start play tomorrow morning, so put on a pot of coffee, stay up and read these rules again and again. It is very important that you memorize every word because any rules infraction will result in your being asked to leave the game. You will not be given another copy. When you have adequately dedicated the following to memory, set your alarm for 7:45 EST, swallow the pills enclosed with this pamphlet, and get some sleep. When you wake up, you will be in the world of FREEBASE — you may notice the remarkable similarity to your own world, but don’t be alarmed,
just enjoy. Don’t pack anything but what you can stuff in your pockets (suggestions for first level equipment will be given later) and you’ll be ready to begin. Now, to signify to other players that yu have joined the game, touch a match to this booklet and set fire to the drapes, couch, and rug (creative players wake extra early to venture into their basement for proper
accelerants). Head out the door, and you’re on your way (don’t worry about waking your family — remember, they’re in on this too, and will have prepared in advance). Now when you see other incidents of “arson”, you can rejoice in knowing that it is just another player entering the adventurous and fun filled world of FREEBASE!! Also, make sure this booklet burns completely,
especially this company’s return address.
BASIC GAME IDEAS
The following is a short list of concepts that are integral to basic game play.
PLAYERS AND NON-PLAYERS
As you know, there are a great many others involved in FB, and in your travels you will meet and possibly join them in adventure! These are your fellow gamers, or Players (it is generally considered poor form to refer to them as such as it breaks the realism, but the terms “Freebie” or “Baser” are usually acceptable). But not everybody is a Player: by adding others to the fray, we have increased the potential thrill of FREEBASE a hundredfold! Called Non-Players, these members of the milieu have been included to specifically challenge the Players. Non-Players come in many forms, sometimes even disguising themselves as Players. So, beware: only through much experience can a Freebaser learn the difference!
Through the battle-scars you receive during play, you will also accumulate experience; that is, you will get better at what you do. To rate this, FB uses Expeience Points, or “XPs.” These may be spent on new equipment, magical components, or to achieve the next “level” (q.v.). Some players who keep “Cover Jobs” receive XPs from their GM (General Manager) on a weekly basis in the form of a “Paycheck”, but the more common form of acquisition is through combat. If you defeat a Player or Non-Player in combat, his XPs are now rightfully yours. This is not the only option, however. Often, XPs can be found relatively unguarded in soda machines and registers.
Other popular methods: “Rolling Drunks”, “Jacking Tires”, and “shooting the Wad on the Trifecta”
(see the Tips section for more ideas).
Players will often find it convenient to use these hand signals as a form of quick and silent communication of their play status.
Put your left arm down, right hand with index and middle finger extended — firmly slap the inside of your elbow.
Translation: Are you a freebase player?
Extend your hand, rub your thumb and index fingers together.
Translation: Do you have any XPs you are not using? I am a little short.
Make a fist, pretending to clutch something, and stab the imaginary object into your chest repeatedly.
Translation: If you could get me the adrenaline hypo in the fridge, I would be most appreciative.
Raise your hand, and extend your middle finger.
Translation: Your mother.
SAVING THE GAME
If you have been playing well, go to the nearest payphone and dial “0.” Tell the Operator that you would like to Save the game. This will allow you to return to that point of the game if you are prematurely ejected.
THE WORLD OF REALITY
Up ’till now, if we were to ask what your life is like, you may have answered, “At best, it is rather unstimulating.” It wasn’t bad, but there was no real sense of control. THE WORLD OF REALITY, however, offers a greater amount of “free will”, and you will find it much less confining than what you are used to. Oftimes, there is a small period of adjustment when you begin play, and you may feel tentative, perhaps even questioning the “morality” of your actions.
This is normal, and will pass within a few game days. Be careful, though: THE WORLD OF REALITY is one fraught with hidden evils, dark magics, and danger. Though the similarities to your own world are sometimes shocking, never let it lull you into a false sense of security — there are important differences, and adventure lies in wait around every corner! You must keep the following in mind at all times:
While the multifaceted aspects of the Magic Using subculture are an integral part of the FB campaign, it is important to remember that excessive or flagrant spell casting will always draw out the unwanted attention of Conspirators.
THE GREAT CONSPIRACY
Confrontation may come to Players in all manner and forms: tension generated by the need for experience points, conflict of game goals with other Players, etc. But the most common is the ever-present threat of The Great Conspiracy, and because of this, much of the setting in TWOR
describes a conquered land. A place not turn by open warfare, but one slowly consumed by the forces of darkness. The Conspirators seek not only to control the world, but to stamp magic out forever (see the Creatures section for more details). Be aware of them constantly; if a Player plans to stay in any one area for long, he is best advised to learn the movement patterns, or “shifts”, of the surrounding Conspirators.
While FB offers the widest possible range in adventure locales, the wise beginner will stay in his base city until higher levels of experience are achieved. Once appropriately seasoned, the Player may choose between a wide variety of expansion sets, including such classics as OAKLAND,
NEWARK, and EXPEDITION TO PALACE VERDES, available at most bus stations.
CREATING A PERSONA
The most important part of the game is generating a Persona that you are comfortable playing — that is, in FB, you are not necessarily burdened by being “yourself” per se; rather, you have the ability to portray an entirely different, perhaps even fictional personality. It is as if you were writing a character in a play, and then performing the part on stage. As you will soon
see, the options are myriad, and after you have been playing for some time, the part will become second nature. For your convenience, there are six methods of character inception presented in this section, but no one way holds dominance over another. Once you have decided upon a method,
continue on with the following steps to put the final polish on your new Persona. Unlike other role-playing games, though the cumbersome “character sheet” has been reduced to a small laminated card that resembles the common “driver’s license.” When you have completed your Persona, you will
find other Players who can help you attain a new Persona Card for minimal XP cost.
A favorite style in FB is to take on the personality of a fictional hero. Whether it be from literature, film, or even comic books, this often provides a sturdy base for the neophyte Freebaser. As the character’s background is already known to you, there is no pressure to make up histories “on the fly”, helping to avoid embarrassing contradictions. Be careful in what you choose, however; certain well-known characters (James Bond, Captain Kirk, or Igoo from the Herculoids) don’t make the best choices, and may lead to greater chagrin. On the other hand, some make good “nicknames” that may endear you to your fellow Players (i.e. a Magicuser named “Willy Wonka” is sure to provoke many a chuckle, reminding other Players of find childhood
times). Suggestions: Captain Willard, Harry Caul, Clarke-Nova, or anyone from Marvel’s New Universe line. No Major Toms.
Similar to Method I, only based in history. Again, use discretion in your choice, too many others are apt to be familiar with the exploits of John Glenn, and they might be suspicious if he were prowling for XPs down on the docks.
Roll four dice, take the highest three.
A somewhat more competitive version of character generation is the “doppelganger” or “changeling” method, but it does require some work and/or research on the part of the Player. Within your first game week, find an appropriately hidden place and attempt to take another Player out of
the game. If you succeed, remove the items, equipment, and most importantly, the wallet from his character. In this, you will not only start the game with a jump on XPs, but (on higher level foes) you may find 1-4 Credit Cards inside. If you wish more information about your foe’s background, you will find his street address on his Persona Card. More XPs can usually be found there if you look hard enough. If there are other family Players there, they can assist you in the search.
Suggestion: Keep the excitement fresh by changing Personas often. Some have even kept track of multiple-Personas!
For the innovative Freebaser, the only way to go is to create the Persona from scratch. Find a safe place, envision (full history, family lineage, fictitious name, etc.) the new character, and go wild!
And finally, only for the most daring, the path to excitement lies in playing themselves. This is the penultimate FREEBASE experience, but it is not taken lightly. In choosing yourself as a Persona, you give the Conspirators an edge, as your Persona Card is already in their files. They will stop at nothing to find you. Trust no one! Everyone is the enemy!
POLISHING THE PERSONA
Now that you have an idea of your Persona in FB, you will be able to refine some of the personal details including Alignment, Class, Levels, and Equipment.
Luckily, in the real world, definitions about what is good and what is evil are simple to discern; Abandonment of Individuality for the Greater Glory of the Higher Being: good, Premarital Coitus: evil. Alas, in TWOR, things are not so clear cut, To assist with this, an Alignment system has been provided. “Alignment” is a quick and simply way to annote the general demeanor and intent of a Persona and to give the Player a guide to deciding the appropriate action in a given situation.
These aspects are combined to make up the Alignment in this manner: LG, LN, LE, NG, N, NE, CG, CN, CE. Choose your alignment from the list below. Though the labels are relatively self-explanatory, a short description has been included with each.
LG [Liberal Granola]:
Knows that mass social protest is the only way to defeat THE MAN.
LN [Liberal Noncommittal]:
Buys bumper-stickers against THE MAN on occasion, and would like to rise up against his oppressors and end this cruel reign of tyranny, but prefers Dead shows.
LE [Liberal Establishment]:
Sells bumper-sticks against THE MAN and T-shirts for Dead shows; pretending to be part of the movement for social change, yet profiteering off his fellow brothers and sisters, finally becoming part of the System that has forced our children to go to die in ‘Nam.
NG [Noncommittal Granola]:
Bought a couple of shirts, thinking this helps, but only practices Iron Butterfly riffs in the garage while the gears of government run by fascist weapon industries crush his remaining freedom.
TN [True Noncommittal]:
Is happy to live in whatever Orwellian hell is presented to him, unknowingly disposing of his own, and hence others, right of choice.
NE [Noncommittal Establishment]:
Buys into the propaganda machine of his mom’s Rosie the Riveter days, and does not question the Draft, though it will mean his end.
CG [Conservative Granola]:
Blindly puts faith in other’s power to change the world he is increasingly shackled by.
CN [Conservative Noncommittal]:
Voted for Tricky Dick because he liked his speaking voice.
CE [Conservative Establishment]:
PENALTIES FOR ALIGNMENT DEVIATION
Slow change of Alignment is possible throughout the campaign, but radical deviation from your Persona’s professed Alignment constitutes a rules breach and possible expulsion from the game.
CLASS AND LEVELS OF ABILITY
Your Persona’s Class represents, in general terms, his adventuring occupation. Rated in Levels of experience, it helps define the character’s purpose in FREEBASE. The higher the Level, the greater the abilities available to you.
Members of this Class use their knowledge of tactics, physical abilities, and skills of intimidation with wide-bore weapons to achieve their ends.
Understanding and highly sensitive to the mysteries of Magic, these knowledgeable Personas are able to tap into alternate planes of reality, from which they draw their power. But with power comes a price…
Able to manipulate and control the flow of Magic, Clerics often have a flock of followers, praying to the Supplier for mercy on the price per key.
Professionals in the arts of skullduggery, and skilled in the liberation of vast quantities of XPs, Thieves are some of the fiercest weapons against The Great Conspiracy. Ambitious Players may note that there are indeed higher levels than these, but because of space constraints, we cannot list them all. When your Persona has surpassed this list, ask a higher level Player about further advancement, and they will be happy to tell you. Who knows — given
time, your Persona may reach such lofty levels as Inmate, Recording Artist, Miami Customs Official, or Assistant District Attorney.
EQUIPPING YOUR PERSONA
As the first few game days will be slightly disorienting, you may not wish to bother with equipment right from the get-go, but here is a list of items that you may find useful as a beginning Freebaser. For your convenience, these have been divided up into “kits” of what would be most useful to your chosen Class. In fact, collecting all of the respective components to your starting kit can be an adventure in itself! Keep in mind that the Conspirators will already be search for you, so normal means of acquisition (i.e. “purchasing”) are not necessarily advisable, but creative Players will find this obstacle nigh inconsequential (hint–by prying out the little orange plug in the barrel, and dusting them with a little flat black primer, those kids squirt toys can seem mighty menacing!).
FIGHTER KIT: Aluminum bat, duct tape, nails, glue, leather gloves, ground glass, copper wire, 1974 Dodge Dart, wine bottles, torn bedsheet, 5 gallon gas can, 5 gallons gasoline, 1 gallon petroleum jelly, steak knives, 10ft chain, pillow case, 1dz oranges, 1 cassette tape cued up to “The Ballroom Blitz.”
CLERIC KIT: Talcum powder, duct tape, razor blazes, mini postal scale, belt pouch, 25 lbs of Earl Grey Tea, briefcase, “Li’l Oppenheimer” lab playset, subscriptions to Scientific American, High Times, and Investor’s Daily, 1 cassette tape cued up to “I Did it My Way” (Sinatra).
MAGIC USER KIT: Spoon, duct tape, bunsen burner, 3ft surgical tubing, 10 packs Zig-Zags, 1 box bendy straws, compacy, cedar cigar box, 1 pack razor blades, 10 plastic 24 exposure negative holders, tinfoil, bottle of bleach, used aluminum can, swiss army knife, insulin kit (insulin not necessary), eye-dropper, electric blanket, 1 cassette tape cued up to “I Did it My Way”
THIEF KIT: Crowbar, duct tape, brick, nylons, ski mask, slim jim (not the kind you eat), flashlight, spray paint, canvas sack, ball peen hammer, 50ft rope, 5 lbs ground chuck, long multi-pocketed coat, sanitary gloves, handkerchief, glass knife, wire cutters, pruning shears, blowtorch, 1 cassette tape cued up to “The Girl from Ipenema.”
GENERAL: 2 wks Iron Rations, 6 torches, tinderbox, 1 vinyl of “Diver Down”, heavy Warhorse.
The main problem with most live RPGs, is that standard play does not allow for a “game master” to be present for every ruling, leaving the actions to be settled between the competing players.
This can sometimes lead to disagreements between them, slowing the game down. But with the advanced technique of FREEBASE, confrontations are handled in a faster, more physical way.
You may perform combat as you would anything else in FB, but always remember to give your opponent his fair strike. In case he has forgotten, simply call you “your turn” after your action. Continue combat until either competitor is knocked out, or leaves the game.
As realistic atmosphere is paramount, you will be noticeably impeded by connecting hits, and unlike other RPGs, wounds do not heal without treatment. This may be disconcerting, but if quick action is taken, you may avoid leaving the game. High level Magicusers and Clerics can also cast healing spells, or ones that at least take the edge off.
LEAVING THE GAME
If your Persona becomes damaged enough, and magical treatment is not possible, you will be ejected from play. There will be a short pause, and a period of disorientation. At that point you will be given the option to leave, or continue from a previous Saved point in the game. If an Operator is not immediately available, wait a few moments, and one will be with you shortly.
You will, of course, become more familiar with the setting of FREEBASE as you play, as only the briefest introduction to the vast and disturbing realm of Magic can be given here. But as you will see, it is one of the most intriguing aspects of the game.
MAGIC AND THE CONSPIRACY
It looms over the head of every creature in TWOR; its icy fingers controlling every echelon of society. Conspirators are sworn to destroy Magic and those who use it — yet many are also fascinated by its great power, to the point of succumbing to it. In this way, it is one of the finest tools against their legions, because it fights on their level: subtle, seductive, and invasive. Though it will not be a great concern for you in the first few Levels, you will later find that Magic if applied correctly, may be a key to the downfall of the Great Conspiracy.
SOURCES OF MAGIC
As the beginning Magicuser, without means to generate your own, must locate a high level cleric called a “Magical Source.” Other Players may be able to lead you to one, but they are rare and jealously guarded things. Usually responding to names such as Freddy, BJ, Jo-Jo, or The Guy Jimmy’s Brother Gets His Shit From, Sources are only active at night, and can typically be found haunting theatre parking lots, bathrooms at the Mall, or most preschool playgrounds. If you are lucky enough to locate one, it becomes your responsibility; you must feed it XPs regularly, stroke its ego on a daily basis, and never give out its position to others, or it, being a timid and untrusting creature, will run away. Care for your Source and it will care for you.
The following is an abbreviated list of common spells, the material components of which can be easily obtained from hardware and convenience stores.
CLERICAL SPELLS — LEVEL 1
Area of Effect: One key per level
Casting Time: Variable
Description: This allows the caster to detect the presence (and sometimes rough percentage) of true magic in a supposed “good deal.”
Duration: 1 minute/bag
Area of Effect: Everything you can find
Casting Time: 1-2 flushes
Components: Functioning commode
Description: Often a handy (if painful) spell in dire circumstances, Dispel Magic rids you of most incriminating evidence. Note that this is not effective in the Conspirators have brought their Mastiffs.
CLERICAL SPELLS — LEVEL 2
Area of Effect: 1 adult
Casting Time: 1 min-10 wks
Components: 3 suspicious acts
Description: If a contact, source, or friend says or does something out of character (i.e. knows all the words to “From A Distance”, unconsciously substitutes the word “stash” with “exhibit A”, or begins sentences with “you have the right to…”), you may have been taken in by the devious powers of the Narc. To cast, casually ask the subject what type of undergarment he prefers. If the reply is “briefs”, waste no time in removing him from the game.
Duration: till 2 a.m. (unless there’s a floor show)
Area of Effect: 1-5 Conspirators
Casting Time: Instant
Components: Leather pants, XPs (cover charge)
Description: If pursued by Conspirators, you may use this spell to throw them off the scent. To cast, enter any nearby nightclub going by a name like “Snake in the Grass”, or “The South Pole.”
CLERICAL SPELLS — LEVEL 3
TRANSMUTE ROCK TO CASH (REVERSIBLE)
Duration: As fast as can be spent.
Area of Effect: 1 ounce per level
Casting Time: 2-3 minutes
Components: 1-2 Magicusers of Junkie Level or higher
Description: As you will see during game play, one of the most lucrative Clerical venues is this particular form of alchemy. Sly Clerics will soon notice that inexperienced Magicusers can be easily taken in by the spell “Transmute Crushed Soap to Cash”.
GLYPH OF WARDING
Duration: Until Removed by “Public Works”
Area of Effect: 1 brick wall
Casting Time: 1 minute
Components: Spray paint
Description: Used to advise Player and Non-players alike as to the dangers of entering the “turf” of the spellcaster and his adventuring party, or a place of Conspiratorial infestation.
“Turf Ward (fuh)”
“Conspirator Infestation (pih)”
CLERICAL SPELLS — LEVEL 4
Duration: Till the Components run out
Area of Effect: 1 subject
Casting Time: Instant.
Components: 100 XPS per level of subject.
Description: When covert action is necessary, the Cleric may wish to cast this spell on numerous subjects. To perform, merely hand the subject the required Components and whisper “you didn’t see anything, you can’t see me.”
SPHERE OF PROTECTION vs. ESTABLISHMENT
Duration: 1 Trial
Area of Effect: Courtroom
Casting Time: Instant
Components: 5th Amendment
Description: When invoked, this spell has the ability to protect you from Conspiratorial Inquisitor’s questions. To cast, chant the ancient words: “under the advice of council, I decline to answer, under the advice of council…”
MAGICUSER SPELLS — LEVEL I
Duration: Until subjects leave, or something they say strikes you as hilarious, like “your uncle Artie died” or “spread ’em.”
Area of Effect: 1-4 unwanted guests or 1-2 conspirators
Casting Time: 2-10 minutes
Components: Jar of peanut butter, pack of gum, Scope, Binaca, fan, Visine, 10 sticks sandalwood incense
Description: Use of this spell will hold off overinquisitive Non-Players for short periods of time. Similar to high level spell, Hide Tracks, material component: long sleeve sweater.
LEOMOND’S SECRET STASH
Duration: Until contents are cast
Area of Effect: One wall
Casting Time: 2 hours (1/2 hr if sheetrock)
Components: Hammer, nail, steel box, 1 large can coffee grounds, heavy gauge plastic bag, duct tape, framed hanging picture of Mother Theresa and/or the Carpenters.
Description: An effective tool in case of Conspiratorial search, the Stash protects the user’s magic against discovery.
MAGICUSER SPELLS — LEVEL II
Duration: 3-12 hours
Area of Effect: Perceptual reality
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Components: Cheap motel room, bunsen burner (see kit), cotton balls, rubbing alcohol, TV station tuned to 10 hour “Rockford Files” marathon.
Description: Personas who need to recuperate after a rough adventure, but who don’t want to put up with the tedium of “down time” can use this spell to enhance the interest level of even the most bland subjects.
Duration: 2-3 hours, or until fire department arrives
Area of Effect: The cheap motel.
Casting Time: Instant
Components: Same as Mainline Missile
Description: Inexperienced Magicusers may, while attempting to use Mainline Missile, inadvertently cast this highly destructive spell. However, those characters created under Method IV might wish to consider using it as a transition between Personas, making the Conspirators believe that they have left the game. In such case, add “Unconscious Gigolo” to the components list.
MAGICUSER SPELLS — LEVEL III
Duration: 3 minutes per sentence
Area of Effect: 20-45 tangents
Casting Time: Continuous
Components: unending patience
Description: Stoned Tell allows the caster to understand the lyrical yet complex and often confusing tongue used by very high level Magicusers. This is one of the most useful spells on an everyday basis, as, depending what type of magic they are employing, their phraseology may vary widely. For example, if you were explaining to a wizard why you didn’t bring the XPs
with you, you could be confronted with “Heeeeeeey………Nogreen,Man? Fuuuuuuh……..Hehheh.. ..nogreen, nogreen….yaknow? Shiiiiiiiiii……Heyman. Yagotta lite?” just as easily as you can understand “IdragallthisfuckingshitDOWNHEREfromtheracquetballcourtand(snort) youdonthavethe goddamnCASHyoufuckingassholeimaveryimportantmanmister VERYIMPORTANTandyoudontscrewwithmeyou little punkimgonnatear(sniff)youanewcornpityoufuck…ohshityournotafucking COPareyouohjesusplease(sob) jesuspleasenoilldoanything pleaseheretakemycreditcardilltellyouthepinnumber(sob) justdontarrestme imreallyacleancutguy.”
Duration: T=SQR D/A
Area of Effect: Most of the sidewalk
Casting Time: Instant
Components: Open air balcony, running start, fairy dust.
Description: Bestowing upon the user the power of flight, this is most often used as a means of rapid egress.
MAGICUSER SPELLS — LEVEL IV
Duration: Instant (subjective.)
Area of Effect: 200 mi. radius, cumulative, per case of Pabst.
Casting Time: 1-5 days
Components: Liberally applid mixture of random magics, bile-stained suede shoes, inflatable plastic companion and assorted ointments, Chevy Nova with broken tape deck and a middle aged stripper in the back seat, 74 packs of cigarettes, neon green tank top with “Do Ya Wanna in Tijuana?” stenciled on front.
Description: If the Magicuser finds himself pursured dauntlessly by Conspirators, he might wish to chance this dangerous but powerful spell. Applied correctly, it will transport him to a random point within the stated range.
Duration: Until victim succumbs to shock.
Area of Effect: 1 Magicuser of Junkie Level or higher.
Casting Time: 1-2 weeks
Components: Chair, rope, water, tape of “French Connection II.”
Description: This particularly cruel invocation is highly effective for interrogation purposes. Unlike most spells, though, Spiritwreck is cast without magic. Simply cut short the victim’s supply of magic, and leave him in a guarded room with no sharp objects.
Magic is not strictly confined to Magicusers, though. Any Freebaser may take advantage of the abundance of Magic Items in TWOR, most of which are available “over-the-counter.”
[bottle of nyquil]: Potion of Sleep
[whippit canister]: Can of Many Things
[coffee and dexatrim]: Potion of Speed
[baggie of weed]: Baggie of Spell Storage
TIPS ON YOUR FIRST ADVENTURE
Once equipped, you will be ready to begin your own personal FREEBASE campaign. Like any other game, the finer points are something you have to acquire through play, but we feel that you will find the following knowledge useful.
Even the most successful Freebasers fall on hard times now and again. If you find yourself in need of XPs, don’t give up hope. There are numerous ways in which you can recoup your losses with a nominal amount of effort, and resume the journey to the next class level. For instance, the industrious Thief may make a late night visit to a costume shop to gather the equipment
for the sure-fire XP generator, _Salvation Santa_. And, for the daring Fighter or Magicuser, there is always potential for adventure and experience in Hustling “Ass.” Finally, the entrepreneurial Cleric can convince desperate Magicusers to sacrifice anything in return for spell components, and as a healthy Non-Player “Infant” can command upwards of 50,000 XPs in
certain markets, he knows what to ask for.
Regularly a problem for Freebasers, the question of safe hiding is difficult to answer; as an early-level adventurer, you will find relocation to be the most common mode of play. In choosing a dwelling, think in terms of non-permanency. Avoid anywhere that requires a “security deposit”, your Persona Card, or a signature of any kind. Instead, ask others to show you the fruits of the “hospice” or “YMCA.” Also, though not quite as comfortable, most
houses of worship are open twenty-four hours as well as having a handy selection of free, hockable items up around the pulpit.
FB provides great selection in available transport. If you have the necessary experience, you can take advantage of the commuter transit system, or the wild Cabbit (q.v.). But if this is not an option, you will find that most Non-Players will be happy to lend you their vehicle and/or give you a ride with the proper encouragement. If the owners are not home, they are obviously not going to be needing their vehicle, and you may borrow it.
In homage to our roots, in which the hungry fighter would wander through a dungeon that had not seen daylight for centuries and find an edible wheel of cheese or a perfectly cooked plate of mutton, not only may you eat anything you find in nooks and crannies of TWOR, but we have also seen to it that many choice rations will be left for you at the “curbside” on Thursday nights, barring National Holidays.
As you traverse the realm of FB, you will come to be familiar with the various creatures that inhabit the setting of TWOR. Some can assist you, some will cause conflict, and it is up to you to learn to recognize them. All too often a Player will be knocked out of the game because he or she could not readily tell the difference between a Krishna and a Skinhead. Here is a small sampling of those you might encounter:
FREQUENCY: Common (to actually stop: very rare)
NO. APPEARING: 1 (10-15 at any diner after 11)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Pepper spray, radio that plays nothing but “Captain Jack” or “Fire and Rain”
SPECIAL DEFENSES: 1″ plexiglas, choppy English, stories about how he “knows people”
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Low
DESCRIPTION: At a price, the Cabbit can transport you to any City location. But the wary adventurer will monitor the route the Cabbie takes; these XP hungry creatures often employ magics of their own, such as Lose the Path and the insidious Meter of Unholy Rates, leaving the careless Persona a level lower for the trip. Clerics in need of a quick getaway may note that the Cabbie is highly susceptible to Invisibility.
CONSPIRATOR, TYPE II (Flatfoot)
NO. APPEARING: 1-10
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Handgun
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Radio for backup
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Low (potions only, esp. Bailey’s)
DESCRIPTION: A close relative of the Type I (Mallcop), the Flatfoot can be found wandering random neighborhood streets, or sleeping in his battle wagon. Either way, these lethargic beings are a useful source of equipment, as they are relatively easy to overwhelm if caught alone. The best way to hunt, of course, is through a stealthful rear approach; thus preventing the creatures from calling for assistance. On any one Flatfoot, the Freebaser may find a handgun, 1-3 speed loaders, 10-100 XPs, and 1-3 issues of 44DD. Again, Method IV Players (thieves in particular) will find this Conspirator Type offers many exciting possibilities, even if they are only short term.
CONSPIRATOR, TYPE IV (DEA Agent)
FREQUENCY: Very rare
NO. APPEARING: 4-20, depending upon the size of the shipment
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Access to unreasonably large weapons and armed support
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Extreme legal protection, Kevlar, Ray-Bans
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Low (see below)
DESCRIPTION: Of the most feared incarnations of Conspirator, the DEA Agent has nearly unlimited resources with which to combat the Freebaser. If, however, it can be gotten alone to talk business, the low MR of the creature makes it highly susceptible to magical influence; specifically the sticky residue left by the flow of magic, referred to as “kickback”.
CONSPIRATOR, TYPE V (Substance Abuse Counselor)
FREQUENCY: Very Rare
NO. APPEARING: 1
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Straightjacket, methadone
SPECIAL DEFENSES: 1-5 guards, psychology
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Total
DESCRIPTION: The crafty and cruel SAC is arguably the most dangerous foe a Player could come across. Though they speak through a veil of kindness, their lair, referred to as a “Halfway House,” is a fearful place, filled with the screams of the tortured. With the powerful, and seemingly logical dark magic called psychology, they can lure even the experienced Freebaser into the hellish plane of The Real World. Usually only the highest level Freebasers have the strength to do battle with such a demon. It is said that the only way to banish their spellwork is to loudly chant the Holy refrains of “Crosstown Traffic” repeatedly over their speech.
NO. APPEARING: Variable
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Cause fear
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Instant regeneration
MAGIC RESISTANCE: N/A
DESCRIPTION: Deriving sustenance from the endorphins produced by a Magicuser deprived of his craft, these freakish little indestructible imps erupt from the shadows en masse to attack.
The “DTs” often promote panic in their victims, as they may appear as anything from tiny plaid spiders to miniature clones of Carol Channing scaling their prey’s back with shrimp forks.
NO. APPEARING: 1-10 per corner
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Tight vinyl, Philter of Burning Urination
SPECIAL DEFENSES: 1-25 flavored prophylactics
MAGIC RESISTANCE: None
DESCRIPTION: These Sirens of the City are frequently the downfall of many a New Player, drawing them into their web of seduction, leaving them without experience, and with a painful itch. Most recently, though, Players have been able to partake in a Freebase contest for who takes the most Hos out of the game! After you have removed a Ho, call the Operator, give the street address, and say the code words with an English accent: “Ol’ Jacky’s Got Anotha One.”
The next winner will be judged in just a few weeks, so hurry!
NO. APPEARING: 1 for every local station
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Utter lack of shame/respect for human dignity, autofocus
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Light rack, big van
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Low (on record: high)
DESCRIPTION: A relative of the Ho, this deceptive being can act as an effective tool against the Conspiracy if approached in the proper manner. If you are beset by Conspirators, and the odds are heavily in their favor, do not fight back, but rather let them damage you as much as possible. This will almost certainly be recorded by a Media Reporter. Then, while incarcerated, “grant an interview” to the same creature, making sure you seem docile and
kind, almost pitiable. Stories involving statements like “stormy home life”, and “My Father The Pusher” will help. If the ratings are high enough, you will be set free, and if you make “Nightline”, you may get some XPs from it as well. Daring Players will also scout around for that wily beast, the Publisher.
NO. APPEARING: 1
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Bad taste in hats
SPECIAL DEFENSES: 1-6 Fighters (see below), 1-1000 Sequins of Blinding
MAGIC RESISTANCE: None
DESCRIPTION: Wherever there are Hos, these violent and despicable things are sure to be close by, as they live in symbiosis with the former, giving protection in exchange for XPs. Players on “Hohunt ’95(tm)” must be cautious; as long as there are XPs to be gained, the Hoking will use everything in his power to keep his Hos from harm. This oftimes includes employment of a small, heavily armed Fighter retinue (a position some unscrupulous Players accept.)
NO. APPEARING: 1
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Comic frenzy
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Alaarm, 1-20 Video cameras
MAGIC RESISTANCE: None; these creatures are famed dimensional travelers
DESCRIPTION: Though easily the most prosaic of foes, the Reigster Jockey still offers much enjoyment to Fighters everywhere; as a beginner, be sure not to pass up their hilarious antics by removing them too soon. Comedy classics like “Vomit on the Counter in Sheer Terror,” “Caught in the John,” and “Stave in the Skull on the Twinkie Rack” will have you in stitches.
If there is time, you will find a Manager in the back. He can help you find the security tapes of the show, so you can enjoy them later in home viewing.
NO. APPEARING: 1-10
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Broken Night Train bottle
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Wall of Odor
MAGIC RESISTANCE: None
INTELLIGENCE: Unknown. Often treated as Low, but some speak fluent French.
DESCRIPTION: The mysterious Wino, mostly overlooked by the general populace of FB, is a benign nomadic creature who traditionally inhabits bus stations and parks. What the exact genus they are is difficult to discern, though it is commonly accepted that they are a branch of the ‘Cashus Gimmesum’ family of XP parasites, which also includes others such as the
Scalper, Sidewalk Messiah, and Amway Cultist. Some think, however, that they are actually ambassadors of a sort; otherworldly guests from the Para-Dimension of Ripple. Note: More than 10 (referred to as a “pride”) appearing at any given time is possible: see the “drunken mob” rules of the upcoming supplement, “Looter: A TWOR Guide of Civil Upheaval.”
A FINAL NOTE
All of us look forward to your participation; we have been too long without you! For now, get some sleep. When you wake tomorrow, you’ll be taking your first step into a whole new realm of magic and adventure: The World of Reality!
See you soon!
Freebase Live Action Roleplaying in the World of Reality is an adult work of fiction and parody created for the sole purpose of entertainment. Any further significance is the invention of the reader and is not the author’s responsibility. Dirt Merchant Games does not condone the use of illegal drugs, violence, or any illegal act. Daniel Thron, Todd Shaughnessy and Chris Elliott
in no way condone any of the illegal acts described or implied in this book. Do not murder anyone or cause violence or injury to anyone or anything in any form. Do not sell any illegal drug, do not purchase any illegal drug, do not synthesize any illegal drug. Do not steal, rob, thieve from, kidnap, stalk, or sexually harass anyone, or in any way or form violate any person’s Constitutional and/or personal rights. Dirt Merchant Games does not condone any illegal act whatsoever, whether parodied in the previous text or not. Oh, and don’t bother the operator, he/she’s got better things to do.